Sometimes I feel so alone...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

So I finally talked to H tonight after two failed "hey"s on MSN she never replied to. She's leaving Thursday morning, and I've only seen her once. She's only 1/3 or so packed, which really means she's got dick-all done. I doubt we will see each other before she leaves, and I'm okay with it. Right now it's an awkward limbo stage because I know she's still in town. Once she leaves, she'll be gone until the end of summer, and by then I'll be in London.

Good riddance.

Planning my London trip gives me an incredible rush coupled with a cripling sense of doubt and no one seems to be helping me out of that doubt except for maybe D and R, my bosses at work. They both just listen to me natter on about it without even a retort. Everyone else seems to listen and then come back with "ya but" and try to ruin it for me. Come to think of it, S at my other job also is very encouraging.

I know that it's going to be hard and that it's going to suck sometimes, but would everyone just stop being so god-damned realistic and say for once, "you can do it!".

Things at home are rough right now, too. I don't know if it's just that I am more aware of it now, or if things are actually getting worse. I think it's time for both my sister, A, and I to move out. It's a strange dynamic here.

I'm going to set up an automatic ING Direct Savings-thing to figure out if I can reach my goal of saving $10,000 by the time I leave...