I can't sleep. And I'm going to blog. Mainly because, since tomorrow is Sunday, I have the liberty of sleeping and can't be bothered to try and sleep now. As well, people across the alley are talking out loud (as people do...), and there are things rattling around in my head.
So here goes. No guarantees that this will be coherent or logical or even factual. I'll try to keep it sound, though.
I went to see Alan Davies talk last night in Battersea as part of the SW11 Literary Festival (Google it if you're interested, I can't be bothered to hotlink it in my state). It was a lovely talk. He's become one of my favorite people since arriving in London, mainly because of his constant presence on a BBC show called QI, which is awesome. I got to the theatre quite early (I like to be early), and was there in the lobby when him and (I am presuming) his wife walked in. I have to admit I did stare for a bit, mouth half open, just because I am not used to seeing, well, famous people. I tried not to be too obvious about said staring, but alas, I was obviously there to see him talk, so I knew who he was. I'm sure I turned all shades of pink and then promptly looked away.
Since I was there early I squeezed myself a front row seat, which is nice, because I like being up close when I go see these smaller type talks. His interview/performance was really a pleasure to watch - it felt like we were all sitting in a rather large living room having a chat. He seems like a really genuinely nice guy. Very funny, too, which helps. He was promoting a new book that he's written, which I haven't read.
Here's the thing - afterwards he was doing a book signing. Now, I didn't read the book. I hate to say it, but I'm not sure I will ever purchase the book. If I find it on sale somewhere or see it at the library I might pick it up, but I just don't buy books that often. So I snapped a quick picture then walked out of the auditorium. (Felt like a total goon snapping a picture, too... it always feels so awkward and a total invasion of their privacy, even though they are there, doing their job as it were. It's not like I snuck into someone's bathroom...). I got about halfway out and I thought to myself "C'mon, this guy is one of your favorite people, you really should meet him"... then the other (more logical) side of my brain responded "No, you always embarass yourself meeting celebrities, don't do it." I should've listened to that side of my brain, but I didn't, so I scrambled for something to get him to sign and a lame esxcuse why I couldn't buy his book and waited in line, heart pounding.
Now, any type of confrontation makes me horribly uneasy. It's something I really have to work on. Now, I also know what you're thinking - this isn't confrontation, it's just a meeting. I know, but the anticipation of saying something to someone who is famous, was pretty overwhelming. At the end of it, I managed to find the only thing worth writing on - my Oyster Card (travelcard for those of you who don't live here) holder (made of plastic - says IKEA on it), and said something about not being able to buy his book now. Really, he was a sweet guy, the moment I said something about not being able to buy the book he responded with "What can I write on then?". He asked how I spelt my name and I said something about using the wallet as a bookmark when I buy the book. And that was it. Doesn't sound too impressive, yet not embarassing right? Wrong.
I'm pretty sure I left with my cheeks all shades of red. I don't even know why. He couldn't have been sweeter. And I didn't even say anything like "I love your work", or "Great lecture". Which I should have. I just feel like such a loser queueing up to see famous people, getting them to sign something like I'm going to parade it around, somehow thinking that it will make me more important amongst my friends if I have had so and so sign something.
So why bother to get anything signed then, you wonder? I wonder the same thing. I guess deep down I feel like I will regret not having the chance to have any kind of face to face contact with these people that I admire when I had the opportunity. Because face it, once I return to Calgary I doubt I'll ever meet these people again. I don't think Alan Davies or Micheal Palin (who I'm going to see at the National Theatre next month) or Stephen Fry (same - at the National Georgraphic Society - and OMG I'm so excited!) are ever going to come to Calgary. Living here in London is an amazing opportunity to see these amazing people, and yet I'm so traumatized from the anticipation that I'll make a fool of myself in front of them that it's too scary.
And at the same time, I need to remember that in their lives, I'm rather insignificant. It sounds sad, but face it, it's true. I'm just one of the hundred people that stood in line in the Battersea Arts Centre to have a book signed by a man who then went on to the Jonathon Ross show and probably did the same thing for another hundred people. I doubt that he even remembers me, and all the better, since I feel like I was a dork. I'm so well spoken and put together in front of regular people, but I get all clammy and embarassed in front of people I admire.
As a side, I once contemplated standing in line when I saw that the Pussycat Dolls (that's right, you heard me) were doing a signing at the La Senza store on Oxford Street, because I have a friend back home who is a HUGE fan. And I think I would've managed just fine in front of any of them, mainly because I just don't care about them. But anyone I admire I just lose it. It's so bad.
So now I have a dilemna. I've booked a lot of places to hear and see a lot of people I admire do talks and stuff over the next month or two (gotta take advantage while I can), and if they present the opportunity to do another signing - what do I do? Do I leave, passing up the opportunity to meet someone I absolutely adore? Or do I wait in line, feeling like a total loser, stammering something out and feeling embarassed for the next week? Who knows.
I wish I was one of those people who could stroll up to anyone and just start a conversation or just start asking questions without feeling embarassed or nervous - just act as if everyone is my best friend... I just can't bring myself to do it.
I guess it's a new feeling for me... this desire for other people and their friendship/approval. It sounds really self-centered of me, but back home, I was usually the one who was desired. And not in a boy-girl kind of way, since I've never had a significant boy-girl relationship to speak of, but in terms of friends, work, etc. I never had to invite people out, since they always called me first. I was always the worker that everone else pointed to and said either "Suckup!" or "That's how you all should behave." (Not always liked by coworkers, I fear...). Of course you dreamed about meeting celebrities when you went to the movies and what not, but they so rarely invaded my little city of Calgary that I never had to worry about actually meeting them! In my head I can be swave and literate and entertaining and it didn't matter! Everyone loves me in my head!
But here, in London... there's a real chance of just running into these famous people. Or seeing them in a more intimate setting that the theatre. And that opportunity never presented itself before back home. Sure, there was a time when I would run into the Cheif of Police in the elevator at work and turn all shades of pink, but it was always a very short ride. And there were usually more people in the elevator! Some of these book signing-autograph moments it's one-on-one. The thought of it is actually terrifying. And somehow, that makes me feel a bit pathetic. Because really... they are just people. And some of them are probably not as exciting as I imagine them to be.
It's that feeling... that feeling of being the smaller, less important, less good-at-things person that I don't like. Even though I wasn't the best at everything back home, I was good enough at enough things to make me feel important amongst my peers. I had things and traits that other people desired or wanted... and it felt nice. This sounds quite snobbish, and I assure you I'm not a brat. Being pulled away from your friends and family and everything and thrown into quite a big city seems to have had an effect on me, albeit not the one I was expecting. I'm starting to think that I much prefer being a big fish in the small lake that the other way around. I feel so inadequate to everyone else in this city. Well, not everyone... but still. I walk down the street and someone's got a better camera than me. Someone's got a better job than me. Someone's got a better flat for less money than me. Someone is more famous than me (... everyone is more famous that me.. I'm not famous).
It was much easier being on par with people. Here, well, I am, admitedly the youngest person in my flat, but everyone else seems to just have more. Have a life plan. Have a significant other, have a steady job with a large amount of income. Back home I was even, even slightly ahead. I like being ahead. I don't like feeling like everyone else.
I don't even know if any of this is going to make sense. In fact, I doubt anyone will read it all the way through. If you did, I'll send you a peice of the lovely brownies that I made a couple days ago. They are still good, trust me. I'm not even sure I'll post this. Oh what the hell. Maybe if Alan Davies decides to google himself he'll understand more about the goofy 24 year old who got him to sign her Oyster Card enveloppe. She appologizes for acting like a fool.
It's now quarter to three and I think the hooligans in my neighborhood have calmed down a bit. My eyes are starting to hurt and I fear that they will look like I've been up late doing cocaine. At least this is what I imagine your eyes look like on cocaine.
Maybe I should stick to financial related matters and start a new blog with all my random rants on the world? Maybe not... otherwise I'm not sure this blog would have any content anymore.
2 a.m. musings
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Posted by Leanna at 2:06 AM 2 comments
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Here's a photo of a deer I took in a park just outside Hampton Court Palace. Thought i'd share a photo to mix things up. Hope you enjoy it.
Posted by Leanna at 12:16 AM 0 comments
There, I've changed (temporarily, I imagine) the layout to give me a boost, but have lost my blogroll... silly me. I've got everything saved somewhere, so I'll redo that at one point. In the meantime, stick around... good things to come!
Posted by Leanna at 12:08 AM 0 comments
Direction
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I've lost direction with this blog. And purpose. That's not to say that I've lost interest in finances, nor have I stopped reading any of your blogs. I've just lost the desire to blog about my finances.
Posted by Leanna at 11:49 PM 0 comments
Oh dear lord....
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I just realized right now that I had switched on comment moderation and then promptly forgotten to moderate any comments! Not that I had more than one.... but still. Thanks for the concern regarding my absence, or should I say, total slackerish tendencies when it comes to up keep and the blog. I've opened two other blogs, not so recently, that I seem to be better at maintaining. One is a travel and photo type blog so that my friends and family can keep track of what I'm doing, and the other is strictly photography related, and it links to my flickr account and what not. Those of you following me on twitter will notice that my username have changed along with my blog, so if you want to track down the new blog, feel free. Not to say that I'm getting rid of this one, but I just don't seem to be good enough to maintain them all sucessfully.
My visits for the summer are done, and I'm up to my armpits in things to do in September, which is good. I've made the decision to push back my return to work for another month, in light of all the stuff I want to do in September. This will mean that the money will be cutting it close (not super close, but still close), and hopefully I'll be able to find a part time job to pair with the full time (er... 25 hours a week) job that I'm returning to this fall.
Still trudging... still trudging along. And I climbed up the Clock Tower to see Big Ben today! 334 steps and I don't feel too bad. :)
Posted by Leanna at 3:57 PM 1 comments
Thursday, August 6, 2009
I know I haven't posted in a long time.
Things are... different now. I've been in a bit of a slump for the better part of 3 weeks, and I can't seem to shake it. Part of it is a new obsession with worrying about bed bugs. I spent a night in a Bristol hostel and worried constantly about bringing one of those stupid critters home with me. Now, I haven't any real proof that I did bring anything, nor did I find any evidence of bugs at the hostel, but I've managed to work myself into such a state anytime I need to go to bed - I feel things crawl on me, and I'm sure they are imagined... but last week it was so bad I feel as though I'm grinding my teeth at night... which I think I am. Now, keep in mind that I'm super clean. I cleaned and vacuumed the matress and all the sheets and duvet and pillows and cleaned and vaccumed and bleached the inside of the box spring. I checked every inch of the matress and box spring and found no evidence... but still, I worry. It's gotten to the point where I feel anxious about going to bed... which isn't a good feeling. I need to relax, but I just don't know how... Hopefully within a week I'll have rid myself of this feeling... but I don't know how. I feel as though I should bring in a huge box of spiders and let them loose in my room to catch the little buggers.... but I don't like spiders! Yeeesh.
The second thing that is stressing me out is another relentless search for a new flatmate. We've been advertising the room for 6 weeks now, and it seems as though all the people show up within 3 days and want viewings. Very stressful. We've tentatively found a couple who are super nice, and I am hoping and wishing and praying that they want to take it. But the waiting is killing me. Bah.
In the meantime my flatmates mother visited last week, and it was so nice to have a mother figure around. I miss my family a lot sometimes, and I feel as though I haven't made a lot of friends while I've been here. Not like back home. I don't find that I make friends easily, except when I work, and of course, not working right now puts a damper on my social skills. Hopefully I'll be back at work within a month... and my sister is visiting on the 20th, which will be very exciting.
Everything money-wise is going fine. I'm living within my budget and should be able to stretch the cash until the end of September, before I go back to work. If I stay through until next March or April, I should still be able to head home with about $1,500 Canadian, which is very relieving.
As a side, to cheer me and my flatmate whose mother just went home the other day up, we went to see The Ugly Truth at the local theatre. It was a lot of fun and well worth it. Lots of laughs. And Gerald Butler is pretty. In a manly way, of course.
Hopefully over the weekend things will start to put themselves together. I hope.
Posted by Leanna at 1:48 AM 6 comments
Inner Geekiness
Saturday, July 18, 2009
I stole this list from Miss Fab Broke over at her blog, and she got it from GeekDad here. I'd like to rate my geekiness, mainly because I think I'd do pretty good. Let's see.... Everything I can't do will be in red.
1. Properly secure a wireless router.
2. Crack the WEP key on a wireless router.
3. Leech Wifi from your neighbor.
4. Screw with Wifi leeches.
5. Setup and use a VPN.
6. Work from home or a coffee shop as effectively as you do at the office.
7. Wire your own home with Ethernet cable.
8. Turn a web camera into security camera.
9. Use your 3G phone as a Wi-Fi access point. (In my defense, I don't own a 3G phone)
10. Understand what “There’s no Place Like 127.0.0.1” means.
11. Identify key-loggers.
12. Properly connect a TV, Tivo, XBox, Wii, and Apple TV so they all work together with the one remote. (To be fair, I don't own any of these, other than a t.v.).
13. Program a universal remote.
14. Swap out the battery on your iPod/iPhone.
15. Benchmark Your Computer
16. Identify all computer components on sight.
17. Know which parts to order from NewEgg.com, and how to assemble them into a working PC.
18. Troubleshoot any computer/gadget problem, over the phone.
19. Use any piece of technology intuitively, without instruction or prior knowledge.
20. How to irrecoverably protect data.
21. Recover data from a dead hard drive.
22. Share a printer between a Mac and a PC on a network. (I don't own a Mac...)
23. Install a Linux distribution. (Hint: Ubuntu 9.04 is easier than installing Windows)
24. Remove a virus from a computer.
25. Dual (or more) boot a computer.
26. Boot a computer off a thumb drive.
27. Boot a computer off a network drive.
28. Replace or repair a laptop keyboard.
29. Run more than two monitors on a single computer.
30. Successfully disassemble and reassemble a laptop.
31. Know at least 10 software easter eggs off the top of your head. (No! But I'm googling this when I'm done!)
32. Bypass a computer password on all major operating systems. Windows, Mac, Linux
33. Carrying a computer cleaning arsenal on your USB drive.
34. Bypass content filters on public computers.
35. Protect your privacy when using a public computer.
36. Surf the web anonymously from home.
37. Buy a domain, configure bind, apache, MySQL, php, and Wordpress without Googling a how-to.
38. Basic *nix command shell knowledge with the ability to edit and save a file with vi.
39. Create a web site using vi.
40. Transcode a DVD to play on a portable device.
41. Hide a file in an image using steganography.
42. Knowing the answer to life, the universe and everything.
43. Share a single keyboard and mouse between multiple computers without a KVM switch.
44. Google obscure facts in under 3 searches. Bonus point if you can use I Feel Lucky.
45. Build amazing structures with LEGO and invent a compelling back story for the creation.
46. Understand that it is LEGO, not Lego, Legos, or Lego’s.
47. Build a two story house out of LEGO, in monochrome, with a balcony.
48. Construct a costume for you or your kid out of scraps, duct tape, paper mâché, and imagination.
49. Be able to pick a lock.
50. Determine the combination of a Master combination padlock in under 10 minutes.
51. Assemble IKEA furniture without looking at the instructions. Bonus point if you don’t have to backtrack.
52. Use a digital SLR in full manual mode.
53. Do cool things to Altoids tins.
54. Be able to construct paper craft versions of space ships.
55. Origami! Bonus point for duct tape origami. (Ductigami)
56. Fix anything with duct tape, chewing gum and wire.
57. Knowing how to avoid being eaten by a grue.
58. Know what a grue is. (Heck yes!)
59. Understand where XYZZY came from, and have used it.
60. Play any SNES game on your computer through an emulator.
61. Burn the rope.
62. Know the Konami code, and where to use it.
63. Whistle, hum, or play on an iPhone, the Cantina song.
64. Learning to play the theme songs to the kids favorite TV shows.
65. Solve a Rubik’s Cube.
66. Calculate THAC0.
67. Know the difference between skills and traits.
68. Explain special relativity in terms an eight-year-old can grasp. (I do baffle my poor cousins when they ask questions about science...)
69. Recite pi to 10 places or more.
70. Be able to calculate tip and split the check, all in your head.
71. Explain that the colours in a rainbow are roygbiv.
72. Understand the electromagnetic spectrum - xray, uv, visible, infrared, microwave, radio.
73. Know the difference between radiation and radioactive contamination.
74. Understand basic electronics components like resistors, capacitors, inductors and transistors.
75. Solder a circuit while bottle feeding an infant. (lead free solder please.)
76. The meaning of technical acronyms.
77. The coffee dash, blindfolded (or blurry eyed). Coffee [cream] [sugar]. In under a minute. (Yeah... I don't drink coffee...)
78. Build a fighting robot.
79. Program a fighting robot.
80. Build a failsafe into a fighting robot so it doesn’t kill you.
81. Be able to trace the Fellowship’s journey on a map of Middle Earth.
82. Know all the names of the Dwarves in The Hobbit.
83. Understand the difference between a comic book and a graphic novel.
84. Know where your towel is and why it is important.
85. Re-enact the parrot sketch.
86. Know the words to The Lumberjack Song.
87. Reciting key scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
88. Be able to recite at least one Geek Movie word for word.
89. Know what the 8th Chevron does on a Stargate and how much power is required to get a lock.
90. Be able to explain why it’s important that Han shot first.
91. Know why it is just wrong for Luke and Leia to kiss.
92. Stop talking Star Wars long enough to get laid.
93. The ability to name actors, characters and plotlines from the majority of sci-fi movies produced since 1968.
94. Cite Mythbusters when debunking a myth or urban legend.
95. Sleep with a Cricket bat next to your bed.
96. Have a documented plan on what to do during a zombie or robot uprising.
97. Identify evil alternate universe versions of friends, family, co-workers or self.
98. Be able to convince TSA that the electronic parts you are carrying are really not a threat to passengers. (Not that I'd ever try arguing with them....)
99. Talk about things that aren’t tech related.
100. Get something on the front page of Digg. (I prefer Reddit.)
Wow! 69%.... more than I thought. And the geek in me is Googling the rest as I finish typing this.... How sad. There goes my Saturday night!
Posted by Leanna at 8:37 PM 1 comments
SwagBucks
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Okay, I did it. I joined the bandwagon. If you haven't heard of SwagBucks, it seems to be a way of earning money/rewards while surfing the 'net like you usually would. I just started using it today, but am already only 1 point away from a $5 Amazon.ca gift card. Very sweet. Everyone else seems to have quite a bit of luck with it, and if you'd like to check it out, please let me refer you:
Posted by Leanna at 12:55 AM 3 comments
Ryan Air
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Aw man, some discount airlines just plain suck. As a side note, I've plain out refused to book with RyanAir, mainly because I hear that they are shit, but mainly because they recently decided to have an online vote to determine where their newly imposed extra fee should lay - and the savvy internet users decided to add that extra fee for plus-size passengers (ie. those whose hips touch both armrests). Now, I am on the heavier side, but certainly not enough to impede the comfort of my fellow airplane riders, and I would refuse to be embarassed by paying an extra fee.
I understand that horribly obese people cause a major problem for those around them, as they sort of, spill onto their seat-mates.
Okay, back to the point. My friends who were visiting were out in Edinburgh touristing and on their way to Belfast. They were flying with... ta-da!... RyanAir. No problem, dirt cheap flight, and they both have tiny hips. :)
However, they weren't aware of the baggage restrictions on RyanAir (and I wasn't either), and unfortunately they were (combined) over 10kgs over the 15kg per person limit. The damage? A whopping £150 fee for the baggage. That's right, RyanAir charges a whopping (yes, I know I've said whopping twice now - it's that, well, whopping!) £15 per kilo that a piece of luggage is overweight. Splitting it up won't work either, because while you can have up to 3 pieces, the combined weight has to be less than 15kg.
They paid it, begrudgingly (not sure about the spelling on that one). I think, if I had no time constraints, I might have just walked over to another counter to see if I could book a flight with another company for less than £150. Either way, that's rough.
Plus, now they've got to figure out what to do for the flight from Belfast back to London to see me. They'll obviously be overweight again, and if they paid another £150, that's just plain rediculous. That's over $600 Canadian dollars! Man alive. I suggested that they pack and mail a box to me in London, as it would probably get here before they left on July 16th, but again, they could just pack and mail a box back home. It's rough. Funny how some of these things that are meant to save money end up costing more and more with each fine print.
So really. Book with RyanAir, but for the love of god (and your pocketbook!), read the fine print. It might save you a whole lot of cash! Have you ever used RyanAir or something comparable?
Posted by Leanna at 10:41 PM 6 comments
Scammed
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My poor flatmate and his friend have just been scammed out of tickets to see The Killers on Friday. I feel bad for him, as its become a hectic scramble to find new tickets, plus sort out the chaos with their CC issuer for what I can hope will be a full refund. However, I also feel the nagging urge to lecture people about internet safety.
Posted by Leanna at 10:10 PM 7 comments